Breathing Just A Little
by 3D.2why
Summary: Drabbles and things and revelations.
1. Gemini

Summary: Drabbles and prompts and quotes.

Warning: I don't own these quotes and I may modify them from the original. The owner is F. Gabdon.

* * *

 **Breathing Just A Little**

 _There are days I am fully there;_

 _bubbling and bursting with life;_

 _where conversing feels like_

 _the most natural thing_

 _and my instinct first_

 _is to hug and kiss,_

 _and dance with anyone_

 _who is near and dear,_

 _I am alive and here._

 _And there are days like today,_

 _where I begin to drift away_

 _and the words in my head need_

 _all the energy in my body to speak,_

 _I feel weak and distant;_

 _all I want is to retreat to a space,_

 _that is quiet and warm,_

 _where I am alone_

 _and breathing is easy._

 _It seems as though I am_

 _two opposing beings_

 _vying to live in a single body._

 _even I,_

 _do not know_

 _which version will show,_

 _each day._

 **\- Gemini**

* * *

Luffy is quiet.

The crew don't notice at first, busy with their own tasks and it's only a while later that realize the absence of stretching rubber and laughter that fill their souls to the brim with brightness.

Luffy is quiet.

They freeze, his form: still, hunched, uncomfortable, the definition of peaceful; to most.

Luffy is quiet and with that realization something akin to protectiveness and something within is stirred, burns; fury alight.

Luffy is quiet and Luffy should _never_ be quiet.

(Because Luffy is sunshine and perfect and loud and fills the silence with bright laughter and a curve of a mouth they can't help but love).

Luffy believes himself to be selfish.

It was only a few days ago they celebrated Chopper's birthday and it was not even twenty-four hours ago they celebrated the new year.

And then Luffy paused, grin fading to nothing: a blank canvas.

New Year?

First of January.

Ace.

First of January: Ace's birthday.

The day Ace _was_ born.

And so, almost robotically, Luffy settles himself onto Sunny's head, absentmindedly petting the lion underneath him.

Luffy ignores the rumbling of his stomach and the wide grins of his nakama; he does not deserve them.

He takes his Strawhat off, placing it in front of him and Luffy closes his eyes; a life of no worries and laughter and grins and exploring flashing through his mind.

Zoro is the first to come, next to the rails, keeping Luffy in sight but not in his vicinity and at the same time letting him know that Zoro is there.

Sanji comes every few hours, snacks and lunches made and if they are Luffy's favorite foods and drinks reserved only for the ladies- nobody mentions it.

Nami navigates them to the next Island, trusting her nakama to deal with the problem and hopefully the thought of an adventure will put Luffy's mind off whatever was hurting him.

Usopp is with Chopper, fishing for some more things Sanji can cook and talking loudly about the biggest Seaking he's ever caught and how the one he'll catch now will never compare.

Luffy doesn't even twitch but Usopp and Chopper still talk loudly.

They'll be there, no matter what.

Franky, who took one glance at Luffy and declared the situation completely UN-super, has left for most of the day and carries a very comfortable arm-chair that Zoro may even stop drinking just to sleep in it forever.

He heaves it up onto the Sunny where Luffy resides and without warning, scoops the boy up and places him onto the chair.

Luffy stiffens and Franky leaves, displeasure coursing through him but knows later on that his bro, his c _aptain_ will be loving it.

Jimbei is quiet, respectful but his worried eyes are on Luffy at all times and he knows he cannot beat the darkness out of Luffy this time: he has to mourn and get up on his own feet.

But that doesn't mean he will be alone.

Robin takes over, used to bouts of depression and shadows trailing her mind when she was on the run, alone.

She taps Luffy, watching him closely, his eyes that reveal everything and snaps him out of it when he goes too far into the darkness but she knows she cannot make it go completely.

Brook sings and plays, his voice going hoarse and playing Luffy's favorite songs without stopping and he is tired but does not stop until he sees the smile they all love.

Yes, this is serious. There's no time for a Skull joke.

And when it's dark they all cuddle around him; the glittering hues of gold and pink and yellow and red and purple painting and coloring their bodies as if they were in a disco.

The Straw-Hat's hold him close, their warmth no where near as close to Ace and Sabo's burning inferno but love and protectiveness just the same.

And when the firefly's green illuminates Luffy's tear tracks, none of them say a word but their support is heard.

Luffy moves, slow and barley unnoticeable but to them it's everything.

"Happy Birthday, Ace," Luffy mumbles but his voice is loud among the silence. He picks up his beloved Straw-Hat and it lands on his mess of black strands with a plop.

"What are you waiting for?" Luffy's sharp voice cuts through their thoughts. "Let's have a Birthday Party, for Ace!"

So they celebrate and although they feel horrified and selfish and cruel for thinking so, they all thank Ace for giving up his life to save their captain.

(And if they could, they would use their own-dreams be damned).


	2. Blossom

Summary: Drabbles and prompts and quotes.

Warning: I don't own any of this. I may modify from the original. Belongs to F. Gabdon.

* * *

 **Breathing Just A Little**

 _Sometimes_

 _we let our bodies_

 _become breeding grounds_

 _for sadness._

* * *

Robin doesn't even twitch when a drunk man curses and stumbles so close to her but she does stiffen when the wide sea-stone ankle cuff that does not fit her but she cannot take off because it touches her skin and that feeling of water in you ears and lungs and being weak _and_ -she quickly shakes her leg and the feeling is gone, like something warm within you that is wiped out without a trace and all is left is numbing coldness that only allows you to believe that is all wasn't her imagination, that the feelings were true.

Like Ohara.

Robin purses her lips and though she tries so hard stop her train of thought it spirals out of her control into the never-ending, present darkness.

BANG!

"Now we just need to find the devil, and we've got that bounty!"

Robin runs through shadow to shadow, tailing a group of men and gently lifting a cluster of keys without a _clink_ from an unguarded pocket and unlocks her cuffs.

She crosses her arms and they all fall, one by one-like dominoes.

(Just like citizens of Ohara who bullied her, just like the Scholars who raised and just like her mother who's existence _motivates_ her).

And in the future Robin learns how to shut of her traitorous mind with immersing herself with work.

Or surviving as she likes to call it.

* * *

We do not see

all the beauty

trying to grow within us-

around us.

 **\- Blossom**

* * *

Robin, tired of smiling and muffling chuckles, laughs outright and ignores the promises her heart knew she wouldn't keep. "Dereshishishishishi!"

The crew pause but Robin bends over, clutching her stomach because of the ridiculous of their current situation and Luffy, who doesn't notice anything amiss, chuckles along with her.

One by one they all start laughing like nothing is wrong and all is right.

Robin wipes away a tear and Luffy bounces up to her, grin wider than usual. "We laugh the same!" He exclaims and Robin realizes that yes, they actually do.

"Dereshishishi," Robin chuckles and Luffy chuckles alongside her whilst the rest of the crew groan.

"And here I thought Robin was the only normal one, apart from the morbid humor," Usopp sighs, resigned.

"IDIOT!" Sanji growls and the Sniper is on the floor with a bump and covers his head with his hands, shaking cowardly. "Don't compare Robin-swan to our idiot captain!"

Chopper gasps. "Ah, Usopp!" And shivers when Sanji's glare is directed to him while Robin gives the latter a mild disapproving glance and the cook wilts.

"Nobody in this crew is normal to begin with," Zoro grumbles and Nami nods, arms crossed.

"Agreed. I'm the most normal one."

The crew blanch and wave their hands. "Oi, oi, oi..."

"I AM NORMAL DAMMIT!"

"NAMI-CHWAN IS NORMAL, YOU IMBECILES!"

Robin smiles, sea-blue eyes twinkling not of their usual mirth but of something she gained; warmth, a new home.

Of course Ohara will always be her home but who says she can't have two?


	3. Something makes me careful

Summary: Drabbles and prompts and quotes.

Warning: I don't own any of this and the quotes belong to F. Gabdon.

* * *

 **Breathing Just A Little**

 _Some nights sleep does not come and I am left  
_

 _suspended between slumber and wake; heart full of_

 _more than mind is able to put into words._

 _Some days I miss everything. Things I have known_

 _and things I have not. Friendship. Evening walks._

 _Romance. Phone calls into the Am._

 _Sometimes I want to be outside at these hours. 1 am,_

 _or 2 or 3. On a rooftop, overlooking a busy city._

 _Lights and people in the distance._

 _Somehow I think that is where I belong. On the edge._

 _Close enough to witness life, but not near enough to_

 _live it. Safe. Easy. comfortable._

 _Something inside makes me careful._

 _The same thing that causes my lonely._

 **\- Something makes me careful**

* * *

Ace, a few months after joining the Whitebeard Pirate, passes by Nico Robin.

Nico Robin: devil child and supposedly someone who destroyed warships at the age of eight.

And something within Ace compels him to sit her down and get the full story, the real story.

Why does the world hate her?

Was she like him?

The blood of an infamous man or women?

Ace licks his lips with a sudden nervousness but pauses her anyway. "Let me treat you," He says and the suspicion is clear but she follows him anyway.

(Whether she can beat him or not, Ace allows her to follow _behind_ him, a clear escape route. He doesn't judge her when he would do the same).

Ace sits her down and the question comes tumbling out of his mouth. "Why do they call you devil child?"

A small smile settles onto her lips and she sips some tea. "Because I destroyed warships," Robin responds evenly, not a hitch in breath and Ace can feel his respect for her rise every moment but still curls his lip in disdain because he isn't an idiot.

"That's a lie and we both know it," Ace snorts and Robin tilts her head.

"Why do you ask?" A smooth, velvety voice and a large bosom that would catch most eyes and it is obvious that this is meant to affect him but Ace doesn't bat an eye.

"Don't bother trying to change the subject, just tell me and maybe I'll let you know something," Ace says, crossing his arms and he doesn't feel bad about lying but at the same time he doesn't really mind telling Robin considering she was in the same boat as him but then again she's still a stranger.

Robin purses her lips. "I gained some knowledge that was forbidden in the World Government's eyes and as such a buster call was issued and my Island was burned to the ground. Also Sakuzuki, now known as Admiral Akainu burned the innocent citizens because he thought I might have been there and blamed it on me. I was given a bounty and have been on the run all my life."

Ace's wide eyes meet Robin's own tragic ones.

Scratch that thought, Ace thinks, her past is almost as worse as mine!

(Because he would never like to admit it but if the World Government found out about him they would do worse than Robin and Luffy and Sabo wouldn't even be here and even if Ace ran he would be hunted till the ends of the world).

Robin raises an eyebrow when anger covers the warmth and understanding in dark, silvery eyes that are too young to harbor _that_ question.

"Should we... have been born?" Robin asks and Ace stiffens even more but Robin gives a wry smile in return that explains nothing. Robin stands up and leaves a wad of beri on the table. "I won't ask," She says. "I can see it eats your heart out everyday and maybe you'll die from it but you're part of the Whitebeard Pirates, right?" With Ace's nods she gives him a kiss on his forehead, and ruffles his hair, his hat falling off his now messy locks. "You deserve to live." And with that she leaves and Ace is frozen despite having the Flare Flare fruit because no one has actually told him that before.

"Ace? There you are, yoi. Don't just disappear!"

And Ace allows are slow, wide grin to settle onto his face.

Nico Robin: devil child.

And if the truth get's out (not that Ace hopes it will happen) Ace promises that they'll be devil children together.


	4. The grass is always greener

Summary: Drabbles and Prompts and Quotes

Warning: I own none of this and the quotes belong to F. Gabdon.

* * *

 **Breathing Just A Little**

 _I am always convinced_

 _that others are happier_

 _than I am._

 _That perhaps they_

 _know something more_

 _about life and living_

 _than I do._

 _Maybe-_

 _there is a lesson_

 _I have missed._

 _Perhaps-_

 _there is a secret_

 _I am yet to learn._

 **\- The grass is always greener**

* * *

Law works hard to be a life-saver, to be better than his father who is the best in the whole country.

Flevance, White City.

Law works hard, top of his class at school and studying to be a surgeon-to save people's lives.

The thought brings a smile to his face.

Everyday there are festivals and foreign people arriving but Law doesn't pay them a single glance.

Even the one with shiny, blonde hair, with a swirl for an eyebrow and long-lashed blue, sparkly brightness in her eyes as she talks with a man with a large mane of blonde hair.

(And later in the years he will see another blonde with a swirly eyebrow and realize the connection except there is a hidden darkness in his own blue).

There are children his age, even his younger sister, playing and grinning and licking ice cream.

Law takes a a small step before retreating into himself.

He has a dream to accomplish, he doesn't have time.

This is what he tells Sister who looks at him with understanding but drags him off to the festival anyway despite Law's wishes.

And even then Law cannot enjoy himself because he doesn't know how to have fun, he doesn't know which games to play and his favorite ice cream flavor ran out.

Lammy gets sick.

Law works harder and harder and harder and harder and consoles her and holds are hand.

(And even though she's in so much pain, Law thinks that he's hurting even more and there is an ache in his heart which his father or him can't fix).

Law doesn't lose hope when classmates of Lammy die; people are being shot and left in the streets and Law examines all of their corpses with tears in his eyes and presses his ear to horribly, still chests and touches each pulse hoping there is a heartbeat.

(Did you know that everyone in Flevance are tightly knitted and some say, like cut from the same cloth?).

Law knows them all.

Betty who ran the bakery-she used to give him free stuff.

Drake who was the mayor and visited each individual house to make sure everyone was OK.

Old man Drew who told them stories.

There are more he's lost and so he works harder.

A white tint on his own skin forgotten because the agony in his heart is too much but Law smiles, gently, to his sister.

Hurry, he thinks, get better soon.

 _Please, please, don't make it a reality. I have three years to live, and you-none. Don't make it true, live, Lammy!_

There is smoke and fire in the building and gun-shots and gruff voices of men who do society proud.

(Who will then grab some rum and get drunk and the world will call them heroes and then they'll soak up the attention and believe they did something _justified_ ).

Law hides Lammy in a cupboard and runs, until he stops and he realizes with breathless certainty as he drops to the floor and grabs the dirtied strands on his head, that the bodies on the floor, this time, are his parents.

He does it again, ear on chest and the unnatural stills breaks a dam because these are his parents and the great surgeon, his father and his kind, beautiful mother.

And they are dead.

His parents are dead.

Law runs, evading bullets that will go through his body like a knife to butter.

Leaving the building, he meets up with Sister and she tells him what he hopes to be the true.

They'll be safe in this madness.

Law goes back the way he came from, to get Lammy-his only living relative.

There's an inferno, a great blaze and the heat licks at Law and taunts him to come forward as his eyes watch it in horror.

"Lammy," He whispers trying to comprehend what was happening right before his eyes. "No... LAMMY!"

His parents hospital, his family and his home is being burnt... by the World Government, the people who were supposed to protect them.

Law turns tail once again and goes to find Sister, the only person truly left-

No, no no no nononono _nonoNO_!

Law is too late.

They're all dead.

All of the kids who licked ice cream and played games.

Sister who always gave him advice.

Lammy, his younger sister.

His parents, who loved him.

Flevance, his home.

And so Law holes himself in all the dead bodies and doesn't flinch when the stench comes in contact with his nose and he doesn't bother putting his ear on chests nor does he seem bothered by the eye ball watching him.

Law laughs, long and hard and so incredibly fake.

Then he cries, tears pouring down his eyes and he clenches his heart in pain.

Law does not make a sound.

(Because he has to live, for Flevance, who the world did wrong).

 _"There are things_

 _the things we've lost_

 _the things we've lost in the_

 _fire_

 _fire_

 _FIRE."_

Law works hard to be a life-saver, to be better then his father who is the best in the whole country.

Flevance, White City.

Law works hard, top of his class and studying to be a surgeon-to save people's lives.

The thought brings a scoff to his mouth.


	5. Solemn

Summary: Drabbles and Prompts and Quotes.

Warning: I do not own any of this. The quotes belong to F. Gabdon.

* * *

 **Breathing Just A Little**

 _Some days,_

 _I do not want to smile._

 _Some days I am solemn,_

 _for no reason at all._

 _And all I want is_

 _to sit at the furthest corner_

 _of a busy room and watch._

 _That is all._

 _Just watch._

 _Sometimes that is enough._

 **\- Solemn**

* * *

Zoro lays down, comfortable enough and able to watch the entire crew go through with their antics and conserve his energy at the same time.

He strokes Wado Ichimonj gently, not a spec of dirt or rustiness found.

Zoro still does it anyway.

It's funny to him, that a second ago you were having heart-to-heart with someone and the next second they're gone.

Gone.

Just like that.

You wake up, expect to see them, battle them and argue with them, _live_ with them.

Everyone's crying and Zoro realizes half-way through the entire ceremony of Kuina's death that she's actually gone.

Somewhere he can't venture.

The the promise comes, the burden and the realization that he just let someone amazing slip away.

Zoro just lost his friend and partner.

The only person he couldn't beat.

(But death can beat her and Zoro decided that he won't let death beat him).

"LUFFY!"

It's an automatic reaction, running and jumping over the ship.

Cold water and people depending on you.

(Their warmth, their hope, their brightness and their love and everything well and his as well).

They surface and Zoro climbs up.

"Thanks, Zoro."

A grin and a tilt of a hat along with a small chuckle.

And trust.

A lot of trust where the crew only scold Luffy and some don't even turn-but all are aware.

Zoro walks back to his swords and lays back down, allowing the heat of the sun to dry his clothes and though he isn't the best swimmer on the ship, he'll be the first to react because he would never let Luffy die from something like a lack of air when he himself is right here.

Just like Kuina died from falling down the stars.

Zoro promises to be there, no matter what.

He won't let them die.

And so he closes his eyes and welcomes the darkness.

"ISLAND!"

Or not.


	6. Body of regret

Summary: Drabbles and prompts and quotes.

Warning: I DON'T ANY OF THIS!

* * *

 **Breathing Just A Little**

 _I hold regret in my heart_

 _for the moments I could've made_

 _into something bigger, deeper,_

 _more beautiful,_

 _my heart pumps longing into my body._

 _I carry apologies in my mouth;_

 _my tongue is swollen with things_

 _I should've said to the people I've loved;_

 _who are now all too far in either body or heart to_

 _reach._

* * *

 _"I hate you!"_

The words that settled onto her tongue and came in contact with the outside world were strange. Unusual and odd and something completely out of character.

Little Nami who had not yet been screwed over by the world saw the hurt in a loved ones eyes and the only solution that came to mind was to run.

So she did, without a backwards glance.

It never occurred to Nami that on the same day she decides to rage, she would lose her mother.

Sorry, Bell-mère-san.

Nami doesn't deserve to be her daughter.

(Because Nami committed a sin and even if she tries to atone-it'll never be enough).

 _"I hate you!"_

What did she want? Clothes? Food? Was all of that worth more than Bell-mère-san's love?!

Nami looks down at the log pose but all is blurry and the blue turns to a women of pink with smoke trailing her figure and a bright smile fitted onto her face.

 _"Nami, I love you!"_

And Nami wipes her tears, her heart heavy because it wasn't until there was a grave that she realized _you can't get back what you lost._

(And you can't take back what you say-you reap what you sow).

Nami stands up abruptly, chair skidding backwards from the force but her glittering dark, brown eyes are on something unseeing and her hands are clenched.

 _I''ll map the whole world, Bell-mère-san. Watch me, I'll be as strong as you!  
_

Nami has regrets but with the Straw-Hats she learns that nothing will be gained from looking back so she'll look forward and the next time they meet, she'll say, thick with emotion, "I love you!"

(No regrets, no regrets, _no regrets dammit_!)

Then hit her stupid-mother on the head because what was she thinking?!

* * *

 _And my mind-_

 _the space behind my eyes_

 _is a gallery of lost chances,_

 _my dreams have all become exhibitions_

 _of things I've failed to achieve._

 _I feel the years weighing down on my body;_

 _I look in mirrors and find only ghosts._

 _What kind of peace can there be,_

 _for a soul like mine?_

 **\- Body of regret**

* * *

Brook is walking, loudly.

All _click_ and _clack_ but not even the _hums_ and violin melodies silences his shadowed mind.

Brook tries very hard to fill the silence but not even the waves crashing on the creaking and breaking ship quietens the voice of his regrets.

 _You know you should've died._

 _Dead Bones Brook, how literal._

 _YOU'RE the only one left, PATHETIC!_

 _They should've left someone else to carry the will of the Rumbar Pirates_

 _Poor Laboon, being lied to, there's nobody left for him._

But Brook only _hums_ louder and makes more noises to shut the voices out but it's not working so- " _Yohohoho~ Yohohoho~_ "

Brook's melodies cause joyful men with aged skin around their mouths and a brightness one could only gain from reaching all desires and can die with a smile, to appear.

The crew sing and Brook stares down at the mess-hall where a group of people laugh and eat.

(Of course he stumbles forward in shock and reaches out a hand until it phases through them without a trace but a lingering coldness and a clenched hand, nothing remains apart form a poorly-sellotaped heart which confuses Brook as he keeps getting disappointed when he should be used to it now).

When the song is finished, Brook sets down cold tea onto a table and walks across the deck, staring at deep, murky waters.

A skeleton looks back and Brook thinks that's a representation of everything because he no longer has a heart and he's just bones.

(Along with his dreams and crew and only a broken, and rotted promise remains that ties and saves Brook enough not to just jump into the seemingly merciful coldness below and end it all).


	7. Barely here

Summary: Drabbles and prompts and quotes.

WARNING: NOT MINE. No love nor attention on this chappy because I had my attention on the next chapter :) enjoy!

* * *

 **Breathing Just A Little**

 _Sometimes I am saddened_

 _by how gently I live,_

 _how thin,_

 _how subtle;_

 _how barely I exist._

 _..._

 _And I am afraid._

 _..._

 _I am terrified that perhaps_

 _I am not capable_

 _of living any other way._

 **\- Barely here**

* * *

Sengoku is tired.

Well, that shows something about his age but he's physically fine.

Perfectly fine.

(Incredibly so but sometimes he cracks and everything he works hard for crumbles apart showing something he tried to keep hidden, showing darkness).

He sets down the reports he is to sign and just sits, silently, without a word.

When was the last time he did that?

Relax.

Silence.

 _Still._

But Sengoku knows he cannot do this forever and opens the first report.

 _Mariejosis:_

 _Several slaves have escaped the building and have injured Celestial Dragon Xavier._

 _Permission to capture and if resistant kill._

 _Sign:_

And Sengoku raises his hand to immediately sign but pauses, eyes wide.

When did he start doing this?

Capturing people and making them into slaves?

The old Sengoku would have never stood for this.

 _This_ was not the justice he stood for.

Why did he become a marine?

 _To serve justice and protect._

What was his favorite color?

 _Blue, him and Garp always argued which shade though..._

When was the last time he's seen his family?

 _More than fifteen years ago._

Sengoku grits his teeth.

(Because when he became a marine he _promised_ and when you make a promise you either make something or break something).

In this case, Sengoku broke (be _tray_ **ed** ) his resolve as a marine.

His determination to be a hero.

Apart from Fleet Admiral, who was he?

Why did he tolerate slavers?

Why did he obey the Celestial Dragons?

 _"Because this is justice."_

 _"This is not justice!" Young Sengoku spat and the World Government leaders chuckle._

 _"You may be strong but_ we _are the world government. Remember, you are just the face."_

So Sengoku gives his permission and remembers that he hasn't exactly broken his promise when he sends Garp out to find the slaves and house them.

But the World Government are right when they say he's the face.

And whatever he does shows their image as the marines, the World Government.

Of course when he tells this to Garp the man wants it to be illegal _not_ to sell crackers in shops.

Sengoku sighs, he's too old for this.


	8. Something, somewhere is calling

Summary: Drabbles and prompts and quotes.

Warning: I wish it was mine... but oh well. T-T Oh and I started going a bit WAY-WARD with this 'little drabble'. Also may be a bit OC.

* * *

 **Breathing Just A Little**

 _I wander on the same path_

 _and keep on coming back_

 _to the same place._

* * *

Zoro is solemn.

Here he is, attached to some wood, tied up by ropes and starving.

His precious swords are gone, touched with filthy hands.

He's been humiliated.

And he might die.

(Which is something he cannot afford to do because he hasn't even started to achieve his dream yet).

Zoro closes his eyes.

He might die.

(Fuck, he screwed up).

"He's right there, the Zoro guy you was talking about!"

Oh lord, not the fans.

Zoro slowly opens his eyes and glares. "You're an eye-sore. Leave."

He's in no mood and to shout like that wastes energy.

Zoro might die but that doesn't mean he has to accept it and give up.

He'll fight til the end.

(And in a few months time he'll laugh and joke because not even death himself will defeat him).

Then the girl comes and is tossed over a wall by Marines.

Of course his luck is so bad the food is still there and Zoro has discipline but not enough to stop his eyes from lingering for a while longer.

Ah, the fan-boy is back.

"Give me that," Zoro growls and the boy is surprised.

"Eh, you want that?" With Zoro's nod the teen picks it up and stuffs it in Zoro's mouth.

God, why is there sugar in a rice-ball?

"Tell the girl I said 'Thank you'," Zoro grunts and coughs.

The teen's smile somehow brightens up Zoro's whole life and he has to blink a few times to adjust to the light.

"I'm Monkey D. Luffy," Luffy introduces himself.

Zoro grins, one of his blood-thirsty ones but Luffy doesn't seem threatened. "I'm Roronoa Zoro and I'm aiming to be the World's Greatest Swordsmen."

Luffy's whole existence seems to go a little brighter because his eyes are shining like he knows something Zoro doesn't. "I'm going to be the Pirate King!"

There it is.

Zoro feels a click, like waiting for something to come back and you never realized until it did.

This Luffy had a piece of Zoro's soul and he never even knew it.

(And later on when Zoro loses to Mihawk and raises his sword, tears streaming down his face, and realizes half-way through the East Blue, that Luffy's dream became his own).

* * *

Usopp chuckles when the villagers throw things at him, dodging and even when things cause bruises he still laughs because this is the only fun, the only time someone ever pays attention to him.

(Because Mama isn't here anymore and he doesn't know Papa).

Usopp learns to laugh and grin and do all he can to have fun.

Even if it means lying.

Then Kaya came and Usopp found that his lying skills would come to great use.

Because Kaya laughs and smiles and it makes Usopp grin for real because someone is paying attention to him and loves him for the only thing he can do.

Lie.

Lie about the things he could do.

Lie about the things he w _anted_ to do.

Then the Straw-Hat's come and spending time with them is like spending time with Kaya, except more adventurous and he's sad to let them go.

And he knows that with them coming to his Island, it changed his life.

To be a Brave Warrior of the Seas.

To be cooler than his dad.

So Usopp packs but Nami and Zoro trade amused looks while Luffy looks at him confused when Usopp says his farewell.

"Where are you going?"

"To be a pirate. I'm thankful for all the-"

"Usopp," Luffy's face is serious and Usopp blinks when it changes to something amazing.

Accepting.

A grin that says _come home._

"COME ON BOARD ALREADY!"

Usopp will forever deny the tears that sprang in his eyes as he jumped onto the Merry.

Because his soul is complete.

* * *

 _I have been here my whole life._

 _I have been this person all along._

 _And I cannot find a way forward._

* * *

Sanji is woken up, sometimes it's sneak attacks and other times just his siblings.

He eats, imprinting the food and taste into his mind.

Then it's training and the giddy smiles on his siblings face doesn't match Sanji's sullen look.

Sanji is four.

Sanji has given up.

Sanji accepts that he will be inferior to his siblings and will never reach them.

(Because nothing seems to work: waking up earlier, learning new styles, sweating more).

Sanji accepts he is _broken._

But not in cooking.

Never on cooking.

That's what Mama said, eating his first-attempt on food with a smile that Sanji will remember for decades.

That was his routine.

Of course then, it was disrupted.

Guards came and carried him out of his room and no matter how much he screamed his voice hoarse or fought-they won.

And here he was, a heavy mask on and the guards chuckle.

Loudly.

It is remembered into his traitorous mind.

Then, sometimes it is silence, no rats and no wall space for Sanji to draw with a broken nail.

Apart from the days.

5 months.

It took four for Sanji to accept that this was his new routine.

Sleep, eat, get cook books if lucky, draw another line, muse, eat and repeat.

Then, it was disrupted.

"Father told us you was dead," Reiju comments and breaks open the cell wall with ease which reminds Sanji exactly what he is.

He is broken.

And she lets him out and so he runs, passing thorough corridors he only sees in nightmares-never dreams.

Sanji sees his father and the man stares down at him like he is a rat.

Then he disowned him but Sanji carries on running, the hurt words the least on him mind- until he is safe on The Orbit going to the East Blue and in the darkness his father's face keeps popping up.

Again.

And again.

And again.

There is a new routine: wake up early, wash dishes, eat, wash dishes, learn how to cook, eat, sleep.

It is a routine Sanji wouldn't have minded.

Then he learns about the All Blue and suddenly Sanji has a dream.

(He has something to _live_ for).

Pirates come and Sanji is sick and tired of things happening when he just finally starts to accept.

So, he uses his fighting knowledge to his advantage and attacks but is beat.

"I won't die... I'll find the ALL BLUE!" He shouts but is knocked into the sea and everything is cool, is clear.

Peacefulness and Sanji knows he's going to die.

(And he also wonders why the world keeps screwing him over again and again).

Sanji coughs out water and realizes that he isn't dead.

He is on a cliff with the same Pirate that tried to kill him and Sanji would have laughed at the irony of cooks starving if he knew he would survive.

Routine: Eat a bit, look for ships, sleep, look for ships.

This time he is the one to disrupt, staring down at the old geezer.

His sack is full of treasure.

He ate his own leg.

(For him, the broken one who is worth _nothing_ ).

Sanji collapses with cyan tears in his eyes because no one has ever done something so nice to him except Reiju.

And even then it was for her own muses, probably.

A ship comes, eighty-five days later and they open up a restaurant, The Bariate.

And Sanji learns that a cook's hands are precious.

He get's morals and he learns as a person.

And a routine that was disrupted by a teen.

Sanji ignores his whole existence, all of them except Nami-chwan.

"Join my crew."

Silence and Sanji's mouth moves on its own but he bites his tongue, quickly.

Sanji lights his cigarette. "I refuse."

Luffy simple crosses his arms. "I refuse your refusal."

And Sanji shouts at him, what an idiot.

After a moment of silence Sanji eyes linger on the sea.

"Have you ever heard of the All Blue?"

And a childish smile lights up on his face whilst Luffy listens and Sanji talks and talks and talks.

No one's ever listened to him.

Not Judge.

Not the chefs from The Orbit.

Not the geezer who had no time.

Then Krieg comes and so does Gin and they fight for their home.

Sanji still watches in amazement how the moss-hair and Luffy fight for their dreams with everything they have.

Not even death will dissuade them.

(And in a few months Sanji will realize that they fight for their dreams and their life. They fight to live, not to die).

"Join my crew," He asks again

There is a spark in Sanji's chest, like the unofficial time the geezer called him his son or his first dish to be added to the menu.

So he grins, brighter than any before and he realizes that the only time he's grinned like this is when his mother ate his food.

"I'll join, I'll be your cook."

And find the All Blue while he's at it.

* * *

Robin ignores the stones being thrown at her, horrible accuracy.

Until one hits her on the arm and she's bleeding.

So she uses her Devil Fruit ability to scare them away.

"DEMON!"

"LEAVE OUR ISLAND!"

"YEAH, NOBODY WANTS YOU HERE!"

Robin doesn't flinch and carries on walking.

Sometimes when scars run deep, nothing else reaches.

(Until there was understanding and acceptance and happiness).

Then she learns the secret language of the Scholars and everyone is telling her to be careful but she doesn't realize until it's too late.

Because Robin forgets about danger when she is given a cake and she is now an official archeologist.

Life is great.

Jaguar D. Saul.

"What does the D in your name stand for?" Robin asks but Saul shrugs his shoulders.

"I don't know, Dereshishishishishi!"

It might be unusual to talk to a giant calmly but Robin was everything but normal.

Saul was here for a few days and in those few days she would learn that when she was sad, she could just laugh.

Laugh, laugh, laugh.

And all the sadness would go away.

"Because, Robin, laughter is the way to happiness!"

(Because she didn't know how to laugh and so she takes his, forcing it in her mouth until it becomes her own).

There are men in suits with guns and a purple-haired man called Span-something.

They cock their guns and the archeologists tell Robin to run.

The shot is blaring in her ears,

There are tears in her eyes and Clover's body is on the floor, blood pooling.

He still says words that forever remembered because one only dies when they are forgotten.

Red.

Robin runs.

(Her true home is alight, burning. The Worlds History is burning. Destroyed, destroyed, everyone is dead).

Her carbon-copy with silver hair who speaks to Robin for two minutes, holding her hand which is warm and comforting and all she ever wanted.

Then there is a hug which Robin happily snuggles into.

Warm.

Warm.

Not like the raging fire, but warm.

And then she is gone.

There are canon-balls but Robin is standing there, frozen droplets staining her face.

Robin does the only thing that she's good at that, running.

Saul holds her, running from the flames that threatened to encase them.

Aokiji raises a hand and Saul sets her down gently.

Cold, unlike the sweating temperature before and Robin thinks she preferred the warmth of Saul's hand.

"NO ONE IN THIS WORLD IS BORN TO BE ALONE!"

Robin wonders why she loses everything precious in just one day.

She enters the dingy, her eyes on the burning Island and the aflame ship.

Robin laughs.

And as Robin grows she realizes that nothing has really changes apart from no one to celebrate with.

Robin is used to abuse.

Robin is used to things be thrown at her.

(Because scars never go away, they heal over time, but never leave).

Robin put her entire life on this one chance.

She failed.

And so she closes her eyes, ready for death.

"CROCODILE!"

Unwavering determination and Robin watches with wide eyes as Crocodile is pummeled.

So Robin picks up the Straw-Hat, not knowing it was a relic of the past, but drops it onto Luffy's chest and walks away.

Robin also wasn't ready to be accepted into their band of smiles and hugs and real laughter and grins.

CP9 passes by her and Robin realizes she is attached.

She is attached enough to let her dream go.

So she does

And she expects them to stay away, to live their lives.

(And she was so, so, so sad she can't watch them complete their dreams but it would be fine if they are safe. No regrets).

And they came after her, burned the World Government flag and stood, proudly.

"Say it Robin," Luffy growls loudly. "SAY YOU WANT TO LIVE!"

Her whole mentality, her whole life, her regrets and desires came crashing down with those words.

Robin's mouth shook and her eyes filled up with tears before she threw 'keeping them safe' out the window.

"I WANT TO LIVE!"

It felt great.

"TAKE ME WITH YOU! TAKE ME AWAY FROM HERE!"

It was amazing and when Luffy smirked, something glowed, something warm.

 _NO ONE IN THIS WORLD IS BORN TO BE ALONE!_

Each of the Straw-Hat's stood, determined and arm's crossed with no regrets.

Robin was no longer alone.

* * *

 _Maybe this is about God._

 _Maybe this is about love or dreams._

* * *

Jimbei looks down at the wide-eyed girl with sympathy and happily takes her inside the ship.

Until she broke down and started cleaning the floor, crying sorry all the way.

Jimbei grits his teeth but Fisher Tiger simply picks her up and takes her inside the cabin. Everyone looks curiously but there is a terrible scream and Tiger comes back with a bandaged Koala.

"You're allowed to cry!" Fisher Tiger shouts and Jimbei cringes as his vicious tone.

Koala doesn't move but follows Tiger to the edge of the ship.

"We don't kill anyone," Fisher Tiger says simply and drops the pistol in to the waters below. "Men, we're off! To Koala's home-town!" And so the Sun Pirates cheer, dropping their own weapons.

Jimbei sees her shaking shoulders and tears but crosses his arms, satisfaction coursing through his body.

Good for Koala.

Of course they take care of Koala and she flourishes, grinning brightly. The girl before is gone and Jimbei is proud.

"KOALA, DON'T GO!"

"Yeah, STAY WITH US!"

Jimbei sighs and they let Koala go, saying their goodbyes with tears.

And then they are attacked and Tiger is wounded, badly.

(Tiger, who was like a brother to him).

"I was... a slave."

Jimbei can feel his mind freezing. "No."

Tiger's hand lingers on a flaming sun on his chest. "What I saw there was the insanity of humans!"

Tiger's eyes are unclear and tears trail down his face which show his nightmare. "I fled for my life but... I couldn't forget about all the slaves I saw! Listen here,"

Jimbei watches Tiger still trying to comprehend what was going on here.

"I did things the ways I wanted and... I interfered with Queen Otohime as a result. But she is right, everybody wants peace of course!" Tiger raises a fist. "But the only people who can make a difference on that Island... are children of the next generation, like Koala who aren't prejudiced. So, please don't tell people on the Island anything!"

Everyone grits their teeth, shaking.

"Neither the tragedy we endured nor of our anger towards humans!" Tiger continues.

"But big brother..." Arlong protests.

"Arlong!" Tiger cuts in sharply. "There are so many humans who are compassionate! I know but... it's funny- the dying leave only their resentment behind."

Jimbei wants to speak, he wants to cut in and shout 'You'll leave us behind too!'

But he doesn't.

"And even know though I know there are kind humans there's a devil inside of me that is... clouding my thoughts. My whole body rejects their blood! I can't... accept humans!"

Jimbei growls, "Boss! Don't say such a thing and live! I beg you!" Jimbei steps forward. "You don't have to die!"

And the others are crying their own things but Jimbei's eyes are firmly on Tiger who is still before a wide smile breaks out onto his face, his hand lowering slightly. "I am so happy..."

(And Jimbei knows he isn't the only one having flashbacks of the day they all met).

Tiger's hand falls.

(And so does their brightness as Sun Pirates.)

Jimbei is the new captain and they honor Tiger's will by not killing anybody.

He then joins the Warlords and tells King Neptune about strengthening the bond between species.

Arlong is released and they argue about Tiger's will which Arlong will not honor.

"Kill me if you wish to stop me, brother Jimbei."

And so Jimbei let's him go because he already lost a family member, he doesn't need to lose another.

Then there was the Princess calling SeaKings and Queen Otohime preaching about not giving the children of this generation hatred of humans.

And Jimbei, vaguely, was reminded of Fisher Tiger.

"Wait... do you want me to sign?" Jimbei asks Queen Otohime incredulously and she shoves a paper into his face.

"Yeah, hurry up. I've got other people to get to, you know!"

Jimbei snorts, taking the paper. "You mean chasing people and them running away."

Otohime gives a bright smile. "That too."

(And then she gave a drunken speech and Jimbei knew he shouldn't have told her all the things that were above them but she was happy, eyes sparkling-he couldn't refuse that).

Then there were papers, fishman, mermen, mermaids-everyone was signing and dropping papers into a box so full several others needed to be gathered.

And Otohime cried because in the history of Fishman there was nothing like this.

Then Jimbei couldn't help but reminisce, what if Tiger and Arlong were here?

And then there was burning.

All the papers gone, just like that.

One by one and Otohime dashed herself towards them, trying to save every single one of them.

Then there was a bullet and she was shot down.

(And so was the future of Fishman and humans co-existing).

Jimbei got the stunned royal army to protect the others but even he was shook, hands shaking and tears falling quietly.

So when they attend the funeral, Fukaboshi's speech drives something within him.

(The sun. The bright and beautiful and aflame and glorified sun).

Jimbei knows what he wants, to ally human and fishmen, but how will he do it?

Two years later, Jimbei narrows his eyes at Fire Fist Ace.

It takes five days for him to be defeated and Jimbei isn't a person to say that the only reason he lost is because he was no where near water.

It's a few years later where Jimbei refuses to fight Pops and is imprisoned with Ace in Impel Down.

"Why the hell are you in here, Jimbei?" Ace grunts.

"Because I refuse to fight Pops. I'll happily revoke my warlord status," Jimbei answers and sighs. "If I could I would give my life to end this fighting."

And so the two pass tales of the past, reminiscing.

"I want to break you out, to stop this war," Jimbei mutters. "I believe in miracles and luck." With that he smiles.

"There are many pirates with a grudge against Whitebeard," Crocodile snidely says but he is ignored.

"Speaking of Luffy," Ace says. "He's my kid brother, would you take care of him for me?"

Jimbei snorts. "Even though it's you who asked, Ace. I have no obligation to look after a stranger in this pirate-infested world."

It's a few days later Boa Hancock comes and Jimbei wants to growl because even the 'Idle empress' would go to war to save her position.

Hancock narrows her eyes. "It' not like that. I was here to inform you that my dear Luffy is coming for you." And with that she is gone.

Ace groans. "Luffy dammit... you're so reckless, you idiot."

Jimbei raises an eyebrow. "She could be lying."

Ace shakes his head. "Why would she lie to me and knowing Luffy he would break into here anyway."

A few hours later, Ace is gone and Jimbei can only growl and watch.

A man crashes here and Jimbei recognizes the teen from the description Ace gave. "HE'S GONE! ONLY A FEW MOMENTS AGO! YOU CAN STILL CATCH UP!"

They release Crocodile and Jimbei and he gives a warning to the scheming bastard not to touch Pops.

Jimbei knocks everyone who gets into his way out, he needs to get there!

(Because he has a new family now and he'll be damned if he loses them too!)

Teach comes into sight and there is a hot, white anger because he is the one responsible for all of this. "Teach, no Blackbeard. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" Jimbei yells.

Then Teach insults Ace and Luffy punches him in the stomach which makes Jimbei feel a little better. "Come on, saving Ace is top priority."

And they run and Mr. 2 tells Jimbei not to allow Luffy to know until the Gates of Justice are closed and his sacrifice will be honored.

Jimbei watches, with his own regrets as Luffy cries, having one last talk with Mr. 2.

Then connection is cut and there is anguish on Luffy's face which Jimbei wants to get rid of.

(He doesn't know why, isn't Luffy just a stranger?)

When they enter Marineford (from the sky) Jimbei retries all of the Devil Fruit users and loudly clearly he shouts, "I RESIGN!"

Sengoku's face will be imprinted into his memory forever.

Moria is weak and Jimbei deals with him quickly but Jimbei is watching in horror as Squard stabs Pops into the chest.

And of course Pops hugs him so Jimbei grins and focuses on fighting.

Walls are made for people to go over them so Jimbei launches Luffy over.

Jimbei stands in the formation to protect Pops, fighting with all his might.

Ace is freed and Jimbei thinks his wide smile can't get any bigger.

Jimbei's eyes widen. "Ace, no, no! ACE!"

A magma fist punctures through Ace's chest and there are words forming but Jimbei can only focus on the tearing of his own heart and tears forming.

Akainu raises a second fist and Jimbei snaps, protecting the brothers and his hand is being burned. "I don't care about my own life and if I could even a little to help Ace, it would be worth it!"

Marco and Vista takes over so Jimbei sprints pass Ace's body and scoops up Luffy running.

Mad dog he is, Akainu.

Jimbei thinks he's tearing into two when Pop's last words are spoken but doesn't look back.

He c _an't_ look back.

All Jimbei remembers next is searing pain and holding Luffy tight.

When Jimbei awakes next Luffy is having a mental breakdown and Jimbei remembers his last words with Ace.

He goes to inform him Ace is dead but tears up when he watches Luffy cry in his grief.

"Leave me alone!" Luffy demands and Jimbei shakes his head.

"I can't leave you to injure yourself any further."

Luffy snarls, "I can do what I want with my body!"

Jimbei narrows his eyes. "Yes, and Ace was free to live or die."

Jimbei dodges Luffy's sloppy attacks with a frown and grabs him by the throat when Luffy bites him, pinning him to a rock.

"Luffy, you must endure and move past your pain and have yet not lost everything!" Jimbei snaps and Luffy skids down, raising each finger whilst counting his crew-members names.

"I-I HAVE TO SEE THEM!"

Jimbei grins.

It's two years later and Luffy saves Fishman Island but he is unconscious and in need of blood.

Jimbei licks his lips and sits down, raising his arm to Chopper. "I'll donate." And there is a hush before there is silence as Jimbei lies down and Chopper connects the tube.

 _If you hurt somebody..._

There are canon balls being shot, Islands being destroyed and a world noble shooting a gun with a smirk.

Blood splatters.

 _Or if somebody hurts you,_

A body falls and somebody screams out. There are slaves crawling, bullets being shot and crying out for help, banging on a glass pane that separates them from the rest of the world that only watches.

Hands are limp, covered in scars.

 _the same red blood will be shed._

Children of the next generation crying out in confusion, some watching what they cannot be apart of (the sun) and the dead crying tears of blood.

 _It hardly seems like a path..._

A crown falls, droplets forming next to it and they all open their mouths and raging.

 _... because it's a very thin and narrow tube- but it makes its way through..._

A tall man standing with a grin, brandishing a flag of ownership to others but a flag of protection to most.

 _... the prejudice that makes people fear each other..._

Four pinky fingers joining until one drops, rejection of the truth and cries for a savior.

 _... and blood feuds..._

A clenched hand on a red sun, acceptance and the truth.

A narrow, red tube runs down, between them: fishman and human.

 _... so very easily. This is the path towards a very real sun, not some empty wish!_

They glow, the suns rays behind them.

Luffy smiles. "Jimbei..."

He grunts.

Luffy chuckles before a determined expression comes. "Join... my crew!"

And there is a warm feeling, like Jimbei found what he was searching for.

(Not with Tiger, not with the Queen or the army, not with Pops, not with the government).

But with Luffy, the first human to ever receive Fishman blood, _his_ blood.

And so he grins. "When I finish up tying loose ends... I'll join your crew!"

Something glows and Jimbei knows he made the right choice.

* * *

 _Most days I feel as though there is somewhere I am  
_

 _meant to be going. Something I am meant to do._

 _And I cannot find my way to it._

* * *

The Blue Reindeer is sullen.

Why is he here?

A reindeer with a blue nose who ate the human human fruit?

Was his whole existence a joke?

What can a human-reindeer do?

He can't even go back to his family and the townsmen hate him.

The Reindeer sneaks a glance to the doctor who was treating him.

Why did he even help?

All humans call him a monster.

He i _s_ a monster, isn't he?

(Why else would everyone hate him? Why else would he be alone?)

"You aren't, who told you that?!" The Doctor says and hands the Reindeer something.

"How do you know what I said?"

The Doctor chuckles. "You clearly aren't used to your form, you were speaking out loud."

The Reindeer glowers.

"What's your name anyway?" The Doctor asks.

"Don't have one."

And that's how Tony Tony Chopper came.

Also in love with candy-floss.

Chopper learns to transform into a reindeer and they go around 'treating' people and taking the money.

Until they aren't allowed in the town anymore and all Doctors are forced to remain in the Castle where the King says everyone has to bow to receive a Doctor's services.

(And Chopper is disgusted because as a Doctor you _save_ patients with all the skills you learn).

Then he heals and is kicked out by Doctor.

It hurts, it hurts a lot.

It hurts more than his fellow reindeer's kicking him out, his herd.

It hurts more when his family walk on.

It hurts more than the bullets being fired.

There is a horrible sensation, painful squeezing in his chest and his throat his closing up as his eyes water.

"DOCTOR!" He shouts again and again but the closed doors do not move and Chopper thinks he's all alone again.

Chopper then finds out that Dr. Hiluluk-his _father-_ didn't want Chopper to watch him die.

"Remember, NO DISEASE IS INCURABLE!"

Chopper snorts at the hypocrisy and searches through books.

 _Amiudake_

Chopper grins, surely with the pirate flag accompanying it, this cure will be perfect for Dr. Hiluluk.

He did remember hearing that a 'special' mushroom can heal all illnesses.

Chopper sets out and though each injury is painful as the last he carries on

(Until he reaches his herd, his family but he clamps down on his tears and moves on. His father is relying on him).

Chopper's herd attacks him and he wins.

Claiming the mushroom sets out to find Dr. Hiluluk and give him the Amiudake.

The mushroom that will cure him.

And Chopper grins because he finally did it.

He saved his father.

Chopper grins as Dr. Hiluluk eats the mushroom and isn't confused when he sets out.

Until Dr. Kureha tells Chopper that the mushroom was essentially poison.

Chopper runs after him, tears pooling in his eyes.

(And he hears a voice, he hears words but he cannot see).

"You. When do you think people die?"

He's getting closer.

"When they are shot through the heart by the bullet of a pistol? No."

Chopper can even hear the breathing, he just needs to hurry.

"When they are ravaged by an incurable disease? No!"

Chopper feels the ache in his muscles but still runs as fast as he can.

"When they drink a soup from a poisonous mushroom?! No!"

There is a edge in Dr. Hiluluk's words but Chopper carries on speeding.

It is softer now, like he is reminiscing.

"It is... when they are forgotten."

Chopper can hear something being poured and maybe... gunpowder?

"Even after I'm gone, my dream will come true. The ailing hearts of the people will be cured."

Hiluluk raises a glass and Chopper ignores the conversation going on, he's almost there...

"A monster will becoming here soon."

Chopper feels a sting.

"He's my son. Don't touch him."

The sting turns to blooming warmth and resolve.

Chopper can smell blood and the figure of his father is seen.

"THIS TRULY HAS BEEN A WONDERFUL LIFE!"

He gulps down his potion.

"Thank you, Chopper!"

And Chopper's world explodes, a hat landing in front of him.

Chopper goes berserk but Dalton holds him down.

His father just died.

The only person who was nice to him in the entire world.

(The only one who accepted him without any words asked).

"TEACH ME HOW TO BE A DOCTOR!"

Doctor Kureha, later known as Doctorine smirks. "Alright, but don't think this is easy"

And so Chopper spends six years studying medicine and though the ache never truly fades away, he's gotten better.

Until he found a freezing teen on the verge of death with two others.

"DOCTORINE!" Chopper yells and they treat them.

And Chopper almost regrets it when the blonde and the one in red start chasing him.

Then he helped beat up Wapal and Chopper stares at Luffy with wide eyes as he protects Dr. Hiluluk's pirate flag with a glare.

"JOIN MY CREW!" Luffy shouts and Chopper shakes his head, he can't.

"I'm a monster and-" He tries to explain but Luffy interrupts.

"SHUT UP!"

Tears are falling now and Chopper thinks that Luffy is the second person to ever like Chopper. "YEAH!"

Then the sakura blooms and Chopper believes that today is his most treasured day.

He looks at a wide smile of acceptance and grins back.

Yep, treasured day indeed.

* * *

Brook has everything.

A crew, music and freedom.

The only thing now is to get back to Laboon and everything will be complete.

Then he can just sail happily on blue dreams and live his life along with his crew.

Captain dies.

Brook still sings and laughs.

Binke's Sake solves everything in the Rumbar Pirates book.

(But then they get attacked but the smiles are present because they have nothing else to live for, nothing to lose).

Brook can only think of Laboon as he can feel the blood escaping his body and leaking onto the floor.

But he steels his resolve and presses play on the dial.

They play, grinning and dancing even in their death.

Brook ignores the splatters and drops as he plays.

And when he's alone, when there's no one playing, just himself he let's them fall, the tears.

But he doesn't stop until all turns murky and black.

(And gone).

"LABOON!" Brook yells as he suddenly wakes up out of nowhere and realizes that he is awake.

Brook is alive.

Not to mention a skeleton...

There is a few days he spends in denial and when Brook accepts it he's attacked and his shadow taken.

(There's a part of him that realizes that even if he does have his shadow he'll never be accepted as who he is, how he looks like).

The bodies of his _nakama_ are still here so Brook buries them and in a few years they turn to nothing but bones.

Like him.

Fifty years in solitude, silence apart from his violin and the creaking of a vessel that died long ago.

Brook does everything to ignore the silence, sing to himself, learning all the other instruments, exploring with his devil fruit power.

(His most hated, yet done almost everyday: reminiscing.).

Fifty-years alone and Brook finds the irony in all of this because he was never alone.

Until now with his crew's dead bone buried underneath floorboards.

It's a few years later when a ship pops up and Brook simply plays Binke's Sake and enters the deck.

The fresh aroma of food... brings tears to Brook's eyes.

Oh, and panties.

Later, he tells them about Moria and his shadow gone.

(He also declines Luffy's brightness and smile which makes Brook hurt inside because he's never seen anything like that so he wants to protect them).

They go anyway and they all fight to an almost certain death.

(And Brook realizes the loyalty to one and another as Zoro gives up his dream, his life for Luffy).

It's later, when they have a party that Brook sits down on a piano and plays.

 _"Yohohoho_

 _Yohohoho_

 _Yohohoho_

 _Yohohoho_

 _Going to deliver Binke's sake!_

 _Following the breeze, riding on the waves!_

 _Far across the salty depths, the merry evening sun!_

 _Painting circles in the sky as the birds sing alone!_

 _Farewell to the harbor, to my old home._

 _Let's sing with a DON as the ship sets sail!_

 _Waves of gold and silver dissolve to salty spray!_

 _As we all set sail to the ends of the sea!"_

The pirates before where Brook's crew-mates, singing and dancing with wounds littering their bodies but smile truer than usual.

 _Going to deliver Binke's sake!_

 _We are pirates sailing through the sea!"_

His crew is suddenly replaced with others, no wounds but smile all the same.

 _"The waves are our pillows, the ship is our roost._

 _Flying the proud skull on our flags and sails!_

 _Now comes a storm through the far-off sky!_

 _Now the waves are dancing, beating on the drums!_

 _If you lose your nerve, this could be your last breath!_

 _But if you just hold on, the morning sun will rise!"_

Brook is on the deck again, flesh and wounds and bleeding and playing and smiling.

 _"Yohohoho_

 _Yohohoho"_

Without warning the scene changes to people celebrating freedom and the defeat of Moria.

 _"Yohohoho_

 _Yohohoho_

 _Going to deliver Binke's sake!"_

Then it''s Brook, alone, on a creaking deck.

 _"Today, and tomorrow, our dreams through the night!_

 _Waving our goodbyes, we'll never meet again!_

 _But don't look so down; for a night the moon will rise!"_

Brook's not alone anymore.

 _"Going to deliver Binke's sake!_

 _Let's all sing it with a DON, the song of the waves!_

 _Doesn't matter who you are, someday you'll just be bones!_

 _Never-ending, every-wondering, our funny traveling tale!"_

And then Brook is back there.

(His death).

They sing until their dying breaths.

 _"Yohohoho_

 _Yohohoho_

 _Yohohoho_

 _Yohohoho"_

They keep dropping, like flies.

(But they're Brook's _Nakama,_ they're his family)

Thuds and the voices lessen.

 _"Yohohoho_

 _Yohohoho_

 _Yohohoho_

 _Yohohoho"_

Brook play, no more singing, no more energy but his finger still drag over the piano keys like a dead man walking, smile still on face and one drops. "Well it seems... we're down to a quartet."

Another drops. "A trio."

Tears start to drop and Brook sucks in his teeth. "Duet."

The last one of his _Nakama_ fall and Brook allows the cream of anguish to fall. "SOLO!"

 _If you want to join my crew, all I ask is that you love music. LET'S HERE IT FROM THE RUMBAR PIRATES WHO BRING A SMILE ON EVERY CHILD'S FACE!_

 _Laboon, once we travel the world we're coming right back for you! You just wait on us!_

Brook smiles, rivers of tears but Brook doesn't waver in the sadness and plays with no regrets until he falls.

The current Skeleton Brook still plays and everyone dances but Luffy lies on top of the piano, crossing his arms beneath his head.

Brook can't help but feel gratitude. Before there was no hope, no company, no colors-nothing.

But now...

Brook's hands tremble. "I am... so glad to be alive!" Brook can't help but cry, tears assaulting his eyes.

Luffy chuckles with a bright grin. "Well, of course."

Brook clutch at his face like a child. "I've waited for this day for years!"

Tears stop pouring and Brook pauses.

(Now that they're safe and he can go into the real world again, see the sun. Luffy... is his sun).

"May I join your crew?!"

Luffy grins. "Sure, go ahead."

And Brook carries on playing in celebration.

He can fulfill is promise with Laboon and protect his new Captain while he's at it.

* * *

 _And yet somehow, I feel like I know it;_

 _deep down, I feel like I have always known it._

* * *

It's easy for Nami to steal, she's been doing it her whole life.

Books from the library and now money.

Money, money, money.

It always has to be money, isn't it?

Always searching for money.

(And though she doesn't act like it, Nam knows that money can give you everything apart from happiness).

She joins Pirate Crews, smiling and drinking and finding treasure and having adventures.

Then she leaves.

Nami learns how to deceive.

Nami learns to how to seduce.

Nami learns how to lie.

(And she also learns how to take the hearts around her and _squeeze_ ).

She does it again and again-no regrets.

She fights, has partners and leaves them in the dust.

Nami uses all of her skills to her advantage and it's only later, when the moon is at it's brightest, hanging over her, patient, that she cries.

No sounds.

No shaking.

Just tears and scratching of a tattoo, of a brand.

She is a pirate, the things she hates most.

Nami wipes away weakness and walks forward, coins clinking.

She has a village to buy.

It's over her, their lives hanging by a thread that splinters every day, every second of her life.

Nami is a navigator but she cannot navigate her way out of this mess, this mass of darkness that assaults her out of nowhere.

(It won't leave no matter how much she screams and shouts).

Though Nami is a pirate in heart and truth, she still has morals.

She will never kill-too much blood has been spilled.

(The war in which she found in as a baby and the precious liquid of her Mother).

She gains another partner and he is easy fooled like the others and she has a great time like all the others but this everything is genuine.

Her grins and actions and excitement for another adventure.

(Nami thought she learned how to bury _that_ away a long time).

They plan to go to the Grand Line and Nami thinks she actually might go.

Arlong's bounty is waved into her face and Nami stills, her blood turning cold and the bubbling in her stomach settles.

Nami leaves, like all the time before but this time it _hurts_ and Nami tells herself it's for the greater good.

They follow after her and even though she has no ties to them she saves Usopp because she will never spill blood.

The Marines who are the expression of justice rob her, destroying her precious tangerines and take all the money it took blood and sweat and tears and eight years to gain.

It took her to think like a Pirate, to betray partners and to seduce.

It took her life.

(Then the precious lives that held above her head are falling, _falling_ , _falling_ -)

"It's okay, Nami," Genzo shouts, hands on Nami's shoulders. "You don't have to suffer anymore!"

And the knife falls with a clang as they walk off, weapons in their hands and ready to die.

A death march.

Nami drops.

 _They knew... this entire time..._

She does it again, snarling and scratching the tattoo, the brand.

Silver glints and Nami knows what she has to do. "Arlong, Arlong, ARLONG, ARLONG, ARLONG!" She roars defiantly and raises the knife, stabbing it inside her, the tattoo.

There is satisfaction and something being lifted, like the chains on her neck and hands and feet.

She does it again, growling his name all the way and Nami doesn't care for the pain-all she wants is to be free.

A tanned hand snatches it out of her grip but Nami isn't finished. "What?! What do you want?! You don't know anything about me!"

Luffy nods his head, his expression carefully blank. "Yep, I don't."

Nami continues. "You don't know what's been going on here for the last eight years!"

Luffy nods again. "I don't."

Nami grits her teeth, a feeling of helplessness washes over her. "Just go away!" She yells, grabbing sand and throwing it behind her in frustration.

Nami brings up a hand to her mouth, eyes watering, throat almost closing up.

Luffy wasn't those partners.

Luffy made her feel.

Luffy wanted her to complete her dream.

Luffy _is_ her captain.

Nami raises her head, staring Luffy in the eyes, tears falling. "Luffy... help me!"

Luffy walks over, eyes shadowed and he puts his treasure on her locks then walks forward, veins popping in anger. "YOU BET I WILL!"

Nami clenches the hat, tears blurring her eyes but she can see the figures of her crew-members as they walk forward to together, to Arlong Park.

A few moments later Nami gets up and grabs her scarf and bandages her arm, running towards Arlong Park.

The whole things is surreal, everything is crushed and Nami can hear Luffy fighting Arlong in the building.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a table is thrown out and Nami can recognize it because that's where she cried, tear-stained holding her pen as she was forced to almost hate what she loves.

Navigating.

More things are thrown out, her papers and chairs and then Nami hears Luffy scream.

The whole building collapses and Nami knows she shaking, tears in her eyes once again as Luffy stands up, wounds on his body but still maintaining eye contact with her.

"NAMI, YOU ARE MY _NAKAMA_!"

Nami smiles despite everything and raises an arm. "Yeah!"

(Because she knew she was a pirate but that doesn't mean she has to be a typical one).

* * *

To Franky, life has always been great.

Even as Cutty-Flam who was abandoned by his parents.

Besides, what more could he need?

He has a great house.

Parent figures.

Idiot-Iceburg.

(Don't ever tell him that).

And he can do what he wants-building, creating.

His best thing is his Battle Warship Franky and if it's successful they'll never have to hunt SeaKing's again!

And with that idea he kept on building, making mistakes and learning from the old one.

It's when he's twelve they put Tom on trial for building the Oro Jackson-the Pirate King's ship.

Tom get's an idea and if he builds the Puffing Tom, a sea train, the Judge will pardon him.

After fourteen years of sweat and grins they build the sea train: Puffing Tom.

(And when they take it out for a test, to Franky it's the best thing they've ever done, ever built).

Franky's Battle Warships come and attack the Island and Franky knows he's got tears in his eyes as his precious creations are being used to hurt the ones he's loves.

(And he never regrets anything so much).

Tom is sentenced to death because everyone thinks that _they_ were the one to attack the Island.

The same Island that Franky cried over scorns him.

They all laugh when Franky shouts, face red in anger because _they didn't do anything_!

"Weren't they your ships made by your company?" Spandam asks and Franky looks down in shame, flashes of a knocked out Iceburg and an impaled Tom.

Franky grits his teeth.

(Because those were his precious creations he makes with a smile on his face).

"Ships that would do such a horrible thing... something so awful!" Franky can barley let out as he clenches his eyes, trying to bury his tears. "ARE NO LONGER MY SHIPS!" Franky roars in frustration and Tom breaks his chains, punching Franky hard enough for him to go skidding back.

Franky grunts. "What did you do that for?!"

Tom breathes heavily, a lance still sticking out of his chest. "They are no longer you ships, huh? Don't you ever say that again!"

Franky growls. "What's wrong with saying that?! I wish I never made 'em!" Franky trembles, head bowed down and tears in his eyes "If they didn't exist then nobody wouldn't have gotten hurt..."

"When a ship is built," Tom grunts and pulls out the lance. "No matter what type it's neither good nor evil. I don't care what kind of ship you choose to make for the rest of your life, remember if she ship you build hurts someone- even if they destroy the world- even if no one else their creator must love and conditionally. The one who made them must never deny them!"

Franky shakes, overwhelmed by the warm feelings.

"Don't place the blame on the ship! YOU MUST BE PROUD OF EVERY SHIP YOU'VE EVER CREATED!"

They take Tom away.

A trail of blood on the floor and Franky wants to rage and cry because they take Tom to the Puffing Tom and this is the biggest disgrace Franky can think of.

So he stands on the trail, waters splashing on his ankles and bazooka on his back.

"Alright Puffing Tom, that's far enough!" Franky picks up his bazooka. " What do you think you're doing?" He asks slightly hysterical, confused. " Where are you taking you creator?!" With that he shoots the bazooka but the Puffing Tom does not stop.

Puffing Tom rides tall and Franky cannot feel any prouder nor despair at the same time.

"I won't let you pass," Franky growls with an almost closed throat and throws the bazooka away, hands out like he's protecting. "GIVE ME BACK TOM!"

The Sea-Train hoots and blows out steam.

"YOU HEAR ME?!" Franky's voice cracks. "STOP NOW SEA-TRAIN!"

 _"Hahahahahahaha, I see! So you're pants just abandon you, huh? That's terrible! Hahahahaha!"_

 _"HEY, stop laughing at me!"_

 _"Fine then, come stay with me!"_

 _There are tears in Franky's eyes, bruises on his body and he is dirty._

 _Tom... I don't wanna build ships anymore._

 _(Flashes of them, fallen)._

 _I can't just love ships that hurt the people I love! I won't do it... even so..._

Tears fall, like the waters lapping at his feet. and Franky braces himself.

 _My golden life is to be just like you!_

Franky holds back the Puffing Tom for a _moment_

 _Come back. Come back and teach me again!_

He's holding it but Franky's foot is skidding backwards from the force.

He flies upward, his goggle breaking and a piece of his burned shirt flying in the air. Franky vaguely sees Spandam smile but everything is a blur and _Tom, no, TOM!_

 _Because someday... I wanna build my own dream ship!  
_

Puffing Tom chugs away, proudly.

 _A ship that would proudly sail bravely on uncharted sea, all the way to the ends of the world!_

(And everything turns to hues of blue and splatters of red and glittering of gold).

When Franky next wakes up, he's half-dead, burned and can barely walk but Franky does because he can't die now-he has a dream and nothing will stop him from completing it.

So he builds himself with extra scrap he finds and promises, next time, (with the iron in his body) he'll be stronger.

The Puffing Tom won't beat him.

Then Franky mourns, hitting and screaming and crying and then he looks at ships.

All sitting there, tall and proudly and loved.

Franky can't do it.

His dream, he'll do it.

Someday, but for now Franky won't build a thing, touch a nail nor look at other ships.

Franky can't do this anymore.

(Because the one thing he loved was something that could also kill and Tom was his Dad, Tom was family, dammit!).

The tears come faster.

(And Franky can almost imagine him, the looming figure with a bright smile and kind, _kind_ eyes and then a booming shout "WITH A DON!")

Franky can't love, not like this. Maybe someday but for now he'll never build.

(But always dreams about shining seas and golden rays bathing him in a glow and laughter, lots of laughter and grins and a black sail and the creaking of a ship).

It is Franky's dream but his dream killed Tom.

(He just can't do this anymore. Despite being an awesome cyborg, there's this weird achy feeling and it gets worse everyday-like it's scratching and sometimes there are drops of blood).

A few years later Franky goes back to Water 7 and they cry like babies.

And stupid-burg allied with the damn government.

Franky takes Pluton and hides inside himself then creates a 'Franky Family' where he robs and takes care of thieves and pirates.

It's a few years later and Franky feels better, to start his precious dream again.

So he steals and saves up to buy Adam Wood.

About four years later his family steel 200 million beri and Franky goes immediately to buy Adam Wood and he grins.

(His dream is getting closer).

Franky comes back to find his hideout destroyed and everyone beaten up.

Of course Franky new this was totally UN-SUPER and leaves to challenge Straw-Hat to a duel but apparently hears the bastard attacked idiot-burg as well.

With everything destroyed with Coup de Vent, they run away with tails behind their legs and Franky grits his teeth.

Franky's sunglasses glint when he decides to kidnap the long-nose and the Marry to lure the afraid-bastards in the open.

Then he finds out Usopp is not part of the damn crew and confirms, with an understanding face, that the Merry is doomed.

Then he gets kidnapped by CP9 and Franky knows there here for Pluton.

(But not Usopp. He's confused why long-nose is brought too).

Franky then learns that Iceburg helped the government so he could get good friends and he wouldn't be doomed like the trial with Tom and that's why CP9 had to go undercover.

The swirly-bro was defeated along with Long-nose and Nico Robin and Franky arrive at Enies Lobby.

(Is this where Tom was taken? Is this the last thing he saw before darkness?)

Then there is a battle and struggle and Franky can see the hope in the usually doomed Nico Robin's eyes and the determination in Straw-Hat's own dark irises.

(Franky feels something in his chest pull to the teen who will be king).

Franky burns Pluton to a crisp, not even ashes remain.

(He trusts Straw-Hat. He's betting _everything_ on Straw-Hat and he fails then the world is doomed).

They fight and there is a buster call.

(Franky also exacts his revenge on Spandam, the bastard who made him-for a moment-stop dreaming).

Granny's a mermaid, what...?

Then all is burning and Franky just can't help but wonder what kind of people the World Government are?

Who happily kills all the officers you smile and drink and laugh with?!

Then there is a sound of a voice and long-nose tells everyone to jump.

So he does.

And lands on the unstable piece of wood that he _knew_ wasn't going to survive.

Then Merry speaks and Franky's eyes glow because that's the kind of ship he want's to make.

(But he also cries when there's more fire).

So he goes up to the crew and tells them about Adam Wood.

He tells them his dream and offers to build a ship.

(Franky thinks he's selfish but he knows, deeeeeeeep down, that this day will always come. He was meant for this and Franky knows that he'll end up regretting if he let's this go so he builds a ship for his own selfish means and at the same time repaying them).

(And is it bad that Franky wants to sail with them too? Like the dreams he has, like the shipwright he wants to be (Tom)).

And then the bastards take his goddamn pants but Franky doesn't care because it's like he destined for this when Straw-Hat smiles all bright like the sun so Franky agrees.

Franky agrees to be a pirate, like the black-sails in his dream and to accept the smile that brings comfort to his soul.

The Thousand Sunny, his dream, sailing a thousand seas.

(And who the hell is the crazy marine geezer?)

* * *

 _Maybe, this is about everything, at all._

 **-Something, somewhere is calling**

* * *

Luffy raises his head, Straw-Hat previously hiding his glaring eyes but not his darkened expression.

A _crew-member_ is crying, tears streaming down _their_ face and Luffy snarls, growls emitting from his throat and he sets his Straw-Hat gently down in _their_ grasp.

"I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!"

Luffy teaches them that to ignore the past and always look forward.

(Because he is their future and he'll make sure they never worry about looking behind because he destroys any demons that appear).

Oh, and he is the brightness that emits when they fall too low, always picking them up with a grin.


	9. Present

Summary: Drabbles and prompts and quotes

Warning: I do not own _this_ *flails arms around wildly* **Also updates are going to be a bit slow from now on... sorry. Though I have this story planned out so I'll never abandon it!**

* * *

 **Breathing Just A Little**

 _My spirit wanders-_

 _I exist somewhere_

 _between coming_

 _and going,_

 _almost-_

 _I am almost here._

 **\- Present**

* * *

It is like whirring, something black, something white.

All colors.

But mostly black, splattering like a liquid and there is a sheen, glimmering with confidence.

 _He_ is moving, all and everywhere.

( _He_ billowing, green, like something mutual between smoke and clouds but floating and flying and will not dissuade from harsh winds).

Through skies and it is like a reflection of blue on both sides that closes _him_ in but _he's_ never felt so free.

Well that's what _he_ says and the drips to sail on are comforting but there is something else _he_ is searching for.

A piece, a big and glamorous and everything.

It is missing and it _hurts._

Antagonizing and aching and sharp and never quick and there used to be something there, pulsing and making a noise.

 _Bu-dum. Bu-dum. Bu-dum._

Something important.

 _It's gone, gone, gone, never coming back, absent._

Greyer than before, fog and mist and _he_ is lost.

( _He_ is not _he_ anymore, _he_ should be _it_ ).

 _It_ is gliding, nothing being seen but a fog and something glows.

Remembering... ( _Please_ , remember, remember, remember).

Ah, that's where-

 _Something glows and sparkles and smiles and beautiful warmth that starts in the stomach and travels to the heart and blossoms and is alight in the soul and-_

 _It_ moves back, eyes blown-open wide and mouth open in a silent scream of something _it_ doesn't understands and a wave of fresh, hot tears are falling with a _plop._

 _Plop._

 _Plop._

 _It_ finds _him_ , understands and dives.

They reunite, connecting together like the red string of fate and the world shines.

(Because _it_ and _him_ have been a part from each other for what seems to be decades to a few months and they fit together, sharply, like a jig-saw puzzle, like a soul-mate).

Brook flexes his skeleton fingers with a displeased frown and grabs his violin.

And then he plays, surrounded by his dead _nakama_ and the shiny, black liquid all name as blood.

(And he finds himself, he finds his soul).


	10. Purpose

Summary: Drabbles and prompts and quotes.

Warning/Note: DON'T OWN IT DAMMIT, WHY DON'T YOU READ?! Anyway haven't seen you guys for like a few days and I felt really sad that I didn't have the time to update. Hope you enjoy this one!

* * *

 **Breathing Just A Little**

 _Some days_

 _it is the things_

 _I hold beautiful,_

 _necessary and vital that crush me:_

 _that pull me into despair_

 _and cut me down in half._

* * *

Zoro lays his swords down-just for a moment, though he does step away and marvels the unfamiliar absence of his swords.

He sits down in front of them, a clear line between them and each taken out with their sheath's next to them.

 _Shusui_ is first and when Zoro leans across that blade, covering it with his shadow and staring down at the blade who has seen more then he could ever dream. Though the blade doesn't admit it, _Shusui_ imprints knowledge to Zoro and berates him for every move, complaining Zoro should be more like a _Samurai._

(Zoro is always grateful, tossing a rare grin in crowd of annoyed glares).

 _Sandai Kitetsu_ , it's blood-thirsty being would always look for a reason to overthrow Zoro but after he had become stronger and no mercy to enemies, _Kitetsu_ and him have gotten closer:more malicious grins shared over bloody enemies.

(And when the enemy get's closer, almost a draw of blood, _Kitetsu_ whirls, biting back with sharp blows and anger and snarls of _don't touch him_ and Zoro struggles to hold him down, and later caressing him gently, letting him know that he is okay).

 _Wado Ichimonji_ is the last and he looks at, staring- _almost_ \- into the soul of the blade.

 _Wado_ has always been there, not peaceful but not blood-thirsty either.

Balance, not like _Yabashiri_ who would calm them all down with disapproving glaces and speaking to them individually, ignoring their jagged blows and angry, babbling tongues and smiles with divine patience.

(Zoro doesn't take a look back when _Yabashiri_ is smiling, each crack filling with brightness and _Yabashiri_ urges him to carry on crumbling all the while into dust and Zoro nor his swords shed any tears, but promise to fight harder so none of them will be damned like the kind soul she is, sacrificing with no regrets).

 _Wado Ichimonji_ has been in the hands of masters and those of revenge and even Dracule Mihawk himself who rejected him but he tells Zoro that he is the favorite master because he dreams and fight with a drive, a goal and fights to protect those he dare call family

( _Wado Ichimonji_ presses into Zoro's shaking, young hand and tells him to carry him. To fight and _live_ and become the World's Greatest Swordsmen with his help and Zoro takes him with tears and promises to fight and never lose).

Even despite all of this, Zoro shuffles backwards, still maintains eye-contact with all of them before sighs.

Zoro would still fight but even so it was time to meditate, to pause and accept and appreciate the stillness, the peace.

(And Zoro never asked, but he wonders if _Wado Ichimonji_ could ever save Kuina who held her as passionately as him and shared the same potential as him).

"ENEMY SHIP!"

Zoro gets up, slowly and retrieves all of them, responding to each of their comments and when he spots something glinting he is already there, swords posed and enemy ready.

And when all the enemies are all on the floor, Zoro stands up and joins the flurry of activities on the crew and at the end of the day sometimes his swords, unintentionally, cut into his heart but its the past and he needs to spot dwelling.

(Like Kuina, her own blade rejecting her and picking Zoro instead).

 _Guilt_

He has a promise to fulfill.

(Zoro needs to carry on moving, wounds be damned).

* * *

Tashigi narrows her eyes at the pirate in front of her, sword glinting and she grits her teeth, her own sword ready.

And then she loses, defeated by the same sword she wants to save.

 _Sorry,_ _Wado Ichimonji_ tells her almost gently, _He is my master and we will defeat the rest of them. I need no saving._

Tashigi doesn't stop and her own sword pauses her. _I understand you goal but what would you gain, not all of them are like me you know..._

She doesn't answer but carries on fighting and _Wado Ichimonji_ doesn't talk anymore, swords striking but no blood being shed and Tashigi knows she's being taken as a fool but she will still fight for a sword that doesn't want her.

(That will happily fight for a blood-thirsty man who despite Tashigi's reluctance to say, seems to love _them_ , his swords).

Tashigi has pride and even though they all tell her, each sword in their own way, Tashigi still fights despite it all because she is stubborn and she has her own goal, her own dream and she'll do it no matter what.

(Even if they all snarl at her, metal pointing her way).

She sighs, another sword pointed in her way but her own who is scarred and tells her of the blood she can no longer scrub off her skin and believe will never glint again.

(And that is why she fights: to stop all this blood, to save those who believe that they will never shine again).

 _Shigure_ roars, defeated enemy below her but nothing scattered as _they_ , together- never one but two fight for _their_ dream.

(Stained hands grabs onto the dirty sheath, grinning whilst the sword cries out in pain for _herself_ and the victim who loses _his_ life).

* * *

 _My culture, my faith, my family._

 _..._

 _Some days, everything_

 _is chains around_

 _my ankles, my throat, my lungs._

* * *

Vivi inhales, voice breaking and eyes watering with a liquid even as a young one she had not spilled.

The first drop dribbles past her cheek and she bites her mouth, unaware of the pain but eyes only in a trance as they watch the flames, barley comprehending the situation.

The blood drops and Vivi bites harder not to let anything escape her lips and Nami takes her into an embrace and Vivi, later on, will notice the understanding and her heart will thump in pain because no one should know the pain of watching a loved one die in front of them.

Purposefully.

Vivi is 16 and she needs to stop a war and prove the Crocodile, a Warlord, is the man who destroyed her country.

The thought brings laughter to most ears.

Her throat isn't working and she is hauled onto the ship, working with Pirates to save lives.

Vivi is happy despite the current position and enjoys every night and that if they met in different circumstances she would happily join them but every moment in her eyes is a person dropping to the floor and it haunts her every night.

(And each second is death and tears and screaming and begs while Vivi is here; safe).

The flames come again, waving in the wind, stronger than before and dancing and glowing and bigger ever minute.

It engulfs her whole country and there is nothing left but her Father's crown which she picks up with broken fingers.

(Vivi a princess? To what country, everyone's dead!)

 _Vivi wakes up, gasping all the while and bursts into tears, blubbering and shouting and Nami holds her, quietly._

Every single moment despite the happiness bubbling within her Vivi still fights and in her eyes that is not enough.

She can feel them, heavy and bounding and _cold_ shackles.

(And they will never fall off).

* * *

Robin learn to ignore the children and to take the tomatoes and the stones until one day she has enough and hits back.

(She never does it again; red mark etched onto her cheek, fear griping her heart and _squeezing_ -)

She reads until there is nothing to read and stores all the information.

And then there are the Archeologists that she meets for only a few hours a day and in those few hours there is something Robin enjoys.

(Unlike the coldness and forced blank faces and red fingers sick of scrubbing and bruises).

Robin smiles at the Archeologists, reassuring them.

 _Something_ _clinks_ and only s _omething_ Robin can see ties her to everything around her.

But she still smiles despite having it being so close together and not being able to wipe away her tears.

 _The chains..._

And there is Saul and deaths and everything is so much more tighter.

 _The shackles..._

It hurts and imaginary bruises and dead people's taunts come for her.

 _yOU MONsteR_

 _dONt CoME tO OuR VIlLaGE_

 _juST DIE_

Robin drops her head.

 _"If you ever get sad, just laugh! Remember Robin, laughter is the way to happiness!"_

 _"NOBODY IN THIS WORLD IS BORN TO BE ALONE!"_

Robin tries to fight back with her chains but they're only, slowly and agonizingly wrapped around her again and again until she cannot breathe and gives up, forced laughter and a dream being the only medicine to carry on.

* * *

Sanji does not smile, and only looks down with a bruised and dirty face.

It's hard against his head, the metal bites into his skin and sometimes the guards beat him up.

His is in a cell and given food everyday.

No baths and sometimes they would give him no food so he would have to each anything that there: cockroaches, flies and all sorts of bugs.

(The funny thing about all this is that Sanji feels that nothing has changed).

"What's the sky like today?" Sanji asks and the first time he's given a beaten for supposedly 'direspect'.

But he asks again because it is the only thing Sanji can hold onto.

The great and divine and _free_ sky and Sanji believes that if he can hold on then he will not be completely in chains, not completely a prisoner.

So he asks everyday, it's thought giving him some sort of a brightness within him and Sanji knows the real thing is better then his memories.

(He doesn't forget about cook books either).

One guard always answers him but after something happened and Sanji was beaten, worse then before and he stares at a back he _used_ to trust.

There is something hurting inside of him that not even his cook books nor the great sky can fix.

Sanji falls to the floor, vision blurry and doesn't respond to any calls because the bone in his arm is jutted out into an awkward angle.

(It's only Germa 66's science that saves his arm).

No one speaks to Sanji anymore no matter how hard he shouts and no matter what he does they don't come in.

His Cook Books are thrown away, forcibly.

The sky is becoming something foggy, far away and almost a dream.

Sanji's head is barley above water and he is drowning.

(Because Sanji is alone and the metal before didn't matter but now it does because that's all he has-it's coldness).

Sanji drowns and some days it's hard to not to fall further in the water and just give up because the chain has fastened itself on his neck and he cannot breathe anymore.

* * *

 _I am static;_

 _I am small,_

 _I am wrong_

* * *

Law is nothing.

Law is just one human in the world.

He is just one child and just like all the dead bodies around him-they are also nothing.

Nothing compared to the World.

He laughs, sound maniac and child-like as he wanders around, stepping over the bodies.

To the world Law is wrong, he is _something_ , he is _it_ and should be removed.

He should disappear, his very _existence_ a crime.

The World is is tying him with a chain and spinning him and trying to draw him to them, to _remove_ him.

Law is a immobile, dead to most but still has the energy, the will and the drive to move.

Law is nothing.

Law is _it._

Law has committed a crime for existing, for having an illness and trying to escape the clutches of the world.

He runs, bomb on body and white patches covering.

Law will die, _because what's wrong with that?_

 _He should have died with them._

 _Burned in a fire._

 _Shot by bullets._

 _Succumb to the illness, slowly._

(Law does not deserve to have this life when some many other have lost theirs-it's just not fair).

 _Nihility: the state or condition of being nothing; nothingness; nullity._

Law does not have anything life: his family, his home, his dream-everything burning to _nothingness._

 _Nothing._

(So he straps on the bombs without any thought, risking his life to prove something, to try and gain a goal, to _fight for the things he used to have._

Law smiles.

He has nothing left to lose _because_ he is nothing).

And so he launches himself, the bomb heavy on his body but not feeling wrong.

There's nothing to lose; burning of flesh in his nose and screams in his ears and red covering his hands.

* * *

 _These days,_

 _I cannot remember_

 _what anything means._

 **\- Purpose**

* * *

Garp stands tall, saluting to the Celestial Dragons.

And they just shot a child for being happy.

For smiling and Garp twitches but Sengoku lays a hand on his shoulder, keeping him in place.

Garp the Hero, the guy who would never hesitate to help another is frozen in his tracks, eyes on the child bleeding slowly and ears filled with laughter and a cocking of a gun, again and again.

This isn't the first time seeing a dead body but it was his first time seeing someone die for no reason.

(And he protects the killers, as a Marine).

The newly vice-admiral purses his lips, invisible tears streaming down his face and later, when the moonlight shines and everybody is asleep, Garp sneaks out and stares at the body still lying there and he buries him.

Garp then washes the blood off his hands and the next day acts like all is alright until the Celestial Dragon calls them to arrest the parents of the little boy and claim that _they_ were the who buried their own child.

(And Garp knows, even as young as he is that no parent should ever have to bury their child).

He let's them go free, break them out of the cells and they run with tears in their eyes and claim to be forever in his debt.

Garp salutes the Celestial Dragon the next day with a grin.

It happens again-random people being killed and this time Sengoku keeps a leash on him, holding him back and they both cry together.

(They cry for they are not the Marines that they wanted to be, they do not protect justice like they promise to do).

Garp an feel the weight of the Marine symbol on his back and the word _Justice_ on the Marine name but he still moves forwards.

There are days he stares, silently at the symbol of hope and the symbol people turn to for a savior.

Garp sits on his room, moving only for food or to go toilet, still silently staring at the symbol.

These days, where there is nothing but him-he reflects.

And those days, eyes-unseeing of everything around him but all the people he let be damned.

It's these days that Garp doesn't remember what anything means.


	11. Muffle

Summary: Drabbles and prompts and quotes

Warning: This might as well be the A/N... literally. Oh and this is a pretty weak chappy but I'm working on a prompt so please stay patient!

Oh and THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS :))))))))

* * *

 **Breathing Just A Little**

 _I am always plagued_

 _by self doubt._

 _There is a choir in my head,_

 _their vices too loud_

 _to be ignored._

* * *

Usopp closes his eyes, breathing deeply with sweat on his brow.

He can do this.

He can say this.

He can.

He _will._

(He hopes).

"Yes, Usopp, is there something you need?" One of the villagers ask.

His mouth closes with a shut and Usopp shakes his head sadly, taking a step back.

When his mother had died, everything changed.

That unwavering confidence, yeah, _gone._

Usopp had no one but himself to encourage him, to speak to.

It was all right at first, acting normally until it became harder but now...

The villagers probably hate him now anyway, having to take care of him.

 _Sighs._

"What's a kid like yourself doing out here?"

Usopp shrinks away. "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers..."

The man grins, brightly and points at himself with a smug grin. "I'm the great Karen- ever heard of me?"

His glasses are glinting and Usopp deadpans. "Nope!"

The man gapes, taking off his sun-glasses and snatches Usopp up, and they sit on the cliff.

(Of course Usopp shouts and screams that he's being kidnapped but Karen only laughs loudly).

Karen grins brightly and they watch the sunset together. "So this time I killed this SeaKing with my pinky finger..."

And Usopp gapes because he's always wanted to be like that: confident.

(And assured and awesome and almost unbeatable and to be a person people can rely on).

This is what Usopp tells Karen who takes out goggles out of his pocket and puts it on Usopp's head. "It's not about being confident, it's about believing in yourself!" He says and the next few months this is their routine.

Usopp grows and he learns and he is more confident.

And he learns to be like Karen, spinning tales within a moment and a grin.

(Because Usopp believes in himself and with that he waves Karen away with only a tear).

The Sniper stands in front of his mother's grave and makes a promise to set out one day.

(Because when the voices get too loud, all Usopp needs to do is believe in himself).

The flowers blossom and the Sniper grins, unwavering beliefs within, burning brightly.

* * *

 _"Perhaps if I was other that I am,_

 _perhaps if I did not look like I do,_

 _perhaps if I was in some other body,_

 _in some other place and time._

 _How do I muffle_

 _this mind of mine?_

 **\- Muffle**

* * *

Chopper tries to tune out the sizzling, jagged arrows but no matter what he does, or where he goes they always hit him, striking at their mark-his heart.

It's a long-lasting agony and they echo, in his dreams or in the silence.

 _MONSTER!_

 _AAAH, I'M GONNA DIE!_

 _MY CHILDREN!_

 _GET AWAY!_

 _SHOOT 'IM DOWN!_

And then his family, all nudging him away from the his herd and baring their antlers-another stab.

(And Chopper can't take it any more, the blood and pain and the loneliness and he breaks down).

 _Someone... SOMEONE SAVE ME!_

All Chopper has ever wanted is a friend.

(But how can he get one if his own family has deserted him?)

And then another human comes but Chopper doesn't care and growls threateningly because he's tired of being hurt.

Hurt or loneliness?

Chopper chuckles.

They're _both_ cold, frosting and ice and taking over your body, inch by inch, until you can't breathe.

It's all a blur and once again, in the silence, the voices come but never go and warm hands thread through Chopper's fur, whispering sweet nothings and promises and a hot breath fanning his ear and simultaneously wipes away Chopper's tears.

The voices are silent and everything now is what Chopper has ever wished for.


	12. Out of Reach

Summary: Drabbles and prompts and quotes.

Warning/ Author Note: I own nothing and UGH... this is such a horrible story/drabbles/randomness. I'm going to try and do better in the future...

* * *

 **Breathing Just A Little**

 _Do not fall for me_

 _because I am not easy._

 _I am not soft delicate warmth-_

 _there is nothing easy about my composition._

* * *

Boa Hancock narrows her eyes and glares at the man before her, legs crossed and face in the palm of her hand as she grimaces at the blubbering and bowing man.

A wave of a hand.

A black figure moves and there screams and blood but Hancock watches on, blinking only once and remembers every single second.

Later, when the moons replaces the sun in the sky and all is quiet but the wind whispering in her ears, Hancock shivers, grasping her silky clothing and shudders, breaths coming out in a pant.

The tears come, slowly but surely and the screams and liquid being thrown around is playing again and again in Hancock's mind.

 _"Hey, pretty lady, are you lost?" The man grins, teeth sparkling and eyes bright._

 _Pink quickly paints her cheeks and her heart pounds, Hancock bites her lip, looking away._

 _The wind caresses his hair and Hancock looks back at him but only sees a figure in white with a bubble-like helmet on and laughing, something smells of burning and there is pain._

 _"GET AWAY!" Hancock shouts and stumbles, falling onto the floor but the man only frowns and tries to help her, reaching out a hand to help her._

 _Hancock's sisters come, staring down at the man with a cold gaze and something similar of Hancock's visions reflecting in their own eyes and they are still for a moment before they charge and the man is taken to Amazon Lily for execution._

Boa Hancock lets out a torturing scream that only spells anguish and _help me please-_

"SISTER!"

Hancock falls once again, the tears coming harder and someone puts her head on a lap, muttering words of comfort that Hancock tunes out and threads dainty fingers through her black hair.

Hancock's hand clenches and she slowly calms, but the pounding of her heart is _hurting_ , like something still digging into her chest and Hancock coughs.

She liked him, her head is full of them together.

(But he is dead, gone forever and not even bones remain).

Hancock sleeps, a few droplets on her eyelashes remaining and the scar on her back throbbing as she curses the Celestial Dragons to hell.

(Because she can no longer _love_ ).

Her devil fruit hums.

* * *

 _I am part fleeting hurricane and consuming ocean._

 _I am not slow gentle heat,_

 _but part searing mouth and jagged heart._

 _..._

 _Do not fall for me,_

 _I am not easy to love._

 _I am best kept_

 _just out of reach._

 **\- Out of reach**

* * *

Delicate fingers run across his jaw but Sanji doesn't even twitch, his gaze on the other side of the bar as the girl pouts at him. "Come on, don't you want to have fun?"

Sanji grits his teeth and grabs his blazer, stomping out of the bar but the girl follows him, blush dusted across her cheeks as she stumbles and jogs a bit to reach him with his large strides. "Come on, Sanji. Just a little bit..."

They arrive at the forest and the girl corners Sanji near a tree, hands trapping him though he could easily escape. "Come on Sanji, why are you being so stubborn-I though you love me?!"

Sanji licks his lips. "Why do you love me?"

The girl tilts her head. "Because you're Sanji of the Straw-hats, son of the awesome Vinsmoke Judge and cook so good I don't have to waste any money!" The girl beams but Sanji, who was in the process of inhaling a cigarette allows it to drop.

(Slowly, slowly in slow-motion, like the pieces of his heart that he has to burn together, forming a deformed a mass of red and black, to keep going).

"Nope, we're done. Sorry mellorine but I can't do this anymore," And with that Sanji is gone, ignoring the girls calls behind him. Sanji sits on a cliff, the water lapping at eroding rock and he drums his fingers on his thigh impatiently, the cigarette he dropped was his last one.

Purururu Purururu

Sanji answers the Den-Den-Mushi, gripping it tightly.

"What?" He growls.

 _"Whoa, Sanji-kun, what got on your nerves?!" Nami exclaims with a laugh._ Sanji sits straighter, apologies on the tip of his tongue before he deflates.

"Nothing, don't worry about it," He responds immediately and there is a pause of silence.

 _"It's that girl, isn't it?" Nami clocks on. "I knew she was bad for you dammi-"_

" It's okay Nami-chwan. It's not your fault," Sanji interrupts her but is in no mood to swoon at her thoughtfulness to ask.

 _"Sanji, you're a great guy. Kind and totally awesome and your hands are like godly, I swear on my tangerines! Don't let that girl put you off- anyone would be lucky to have you!" Nami finishes with a smile the snail can't copy._

Ka-cha

Sanji stares for a while, mouth open and chuckles, loud and fake.

 _This was the seventh girl. The three were bounty hunters, the two I had an argument with because I was 'always busy' and the last before now only used me to help her village before she ditched me._

(And all told him the same thing-he loved too much).

And Sanji wonders, why there is a problem with too much love when sometimes people-

(Like him, as a child, wanting to be accepted, wanting to be _loved_ )

-don't get enough.

And his heart _explodes_ because no matter how many times he tries not to, he falls hard and the pain of rejection get's more unbearable each time.

So now, Sanji will swoon and he will love because he cannot stop his heart from opening but he will keep out of reach, slyly swatting hands away.

(And nobody will get hurt because he is out of reach

But mostly for him, selfish but for him because he is tired of all this).


	13. Worthy

Summary: Drabbles and prompts and quotes.

Warning/ Author Note: NOPE NADA NO! ... this is a pretty weak drabble to be honest, tho...

* * *

 **Breathing Just A Little**

 _I am quick to love,_

 _but slow in allowing myself_

 _to be loved._

 _Love pours out from me_

 _like waterfalls_

 _and bursting river banks,_

 _but comes towards me;_

 _in slow droplets and thin trickles._

 _My dam's too sturdy._

 _something in the mind I think,_

 _something tells me I am not worthy._

 **\- Worthy**

* * *

"Hey, Sanji, have you seen my sword?" Yonji asks and Sanji shakes his head but helps him look and they find it after an hour of looking in Niji's room.

Niji crosses his arms. "I needed it for something." With that Niji and Yonji fight and Sanji chuckles before joining in.

 _It was nice like this, all the same strength._

"Hey Sanji, keep up!" Niji yells.

"Why are you breathing hard from something like that?" Yonji asks.

Ichiji sniffs, not even looking at Sanji's directions whilst Reiju chuckles.

Judge looks down at him. "Weak," He hisses.

 _Until he became to weak and they too strong._

Sanji grunts, attempting to protect the cupcake but it was taken away from him. "Give it back!" He roars and tries to punch Niji who laughs in his face and they all beat him up.

"Father... help!" Sanji shouts, tears and snot and bruises all over his face.

(He reaches out to a back that doesn't stop for him and leaves him in the dust).

It was when Sanji was imprisoned that he understood.

 _He was not worthy._

Sanji didn't deserve their love.

Sanji didn't deserve any attention.

Sanji didn't deserve _anything._

He was weak, useless.

(His mother's laughter, like bells and Sanji involuntarily smiles).

Sanji claws at the cells, shouting words that cannot be heard.

And flashes of laughter with his siblings and training and smiles and happiness and joy.

Sanji takes a step back, those moments leaving with tears and pain.

 _It's okay..._

A small smile spreads over Sanji's lips.

 _... he doesn't deserve them after all, he is broken and weak._

And laughter, loud and echoing in the walls that makes Sanji reminisce and wonder.

(And wish and dream and hope and his bottom lip trembles, grey droplets staining his cheeks).


	14. Not like her

It's hard at first, y'know, when she died.

Kinda like a void somewhere, sucking, sucking, _sucking_

"Okay," Master says so simply, so calmly and nicely but the tears still drop with a patter in the silent room, Zoro feels ashamed and he think master can understand because his hand, warm in this sudden coldness, is flat on his shoulder, reassuring and Zoro sniffles, taking a breath before holding the weight, holding the sword.

And _oh_ it's heavy.

Really heavy, like in the soul heavy and the tears start streaming once again, hand joining the cold and Zoro feels all so alone, not having the confidence to look at master's all too calm, somewhat apathetic face, hand suddenly a boulder on his shoulder but Zoro doesn't yield and only bows, taking the sword with him.

He leaves, the others staring at him.

Others... he doesn't know them and they don't know him.

(he doesn't think anyone could know him as well as _her_ )

Zoro walks with his head high, cheeks a type of blotched red which only means tears and too big, white sword almost longer then his own frame in his grasp.

The stares are there until he enters the forest, feet taking him anywhere 'cept he knows, he knows this place where intimate words were shared and dreams to be reached, started and vows by swords and blood and body and soul and

the grave isn't here but her soul is, Kuina's soul hovering with her tear-soaked face hovering over his beaten form until its him blinking up impassively to her problems but solution still there, raising a hand for her to reach but she falls, neck twisting a sort of way that no ones should

Wado Ichimonji slips from his tight-fisted knucles and Zoro collapses onto the floor, hands digging into the grass below and cries piercing the air but hand, hand, _warm_ hand pressed tightly against his back but it's not like Kuina's hand, too small, too real, too

"You will take me," She says, apathetic but joy but mourning but still ice cold, her voice, filling a void, the silence and Zoro takes it.

"Okay," Zoro whispers, words barley leaving his voice.

"You will wield me," Hard, louder, touching his ears and singing in his veins.

"Yes," Zoro gulps, a little louder, a little braver, little boulder, resolve coming to him slowly-

" _You will win_ ," Same volume but it's all he knows in his head, his heart, his promise, his-

"I WILL WIN!" Zoro screams, sword lighter, more his shape and seemingly smiling as he rapidly wipes the tears away, standing tall.

The other figure laughs following Zoro as he leaves.


	15. Burning and freezing

Because sometimes when your on the run and a village is full of laughter and happiness but a stray poster with your name makes you turn and enter the forest, bags heavy on body, world cold from behind, stars a light above and fire warm in front which should be a beacon but sometimes...

There are the days when the fire is crackling, turning into something bigger, something more real and dangerous and there are shouts, strong men lugging guns around like

like it was nothing.

like every single gun with bullets made to kill were nothing but simple objects in life and y'know what? Maybe they are, maybe the world is so screwed up this is the norm and maybe she doesn't want it to be the norm, maybe she doesn't other kids to have warmth slip away to cold, to then have to watch raging embers ignite and burn and know she was a hair's breath away from being apart of that.

And sometimes, when the days where the fire's rapid spluttering is loud in her ears, men's shouts causing her muscles to tense and each round of a bullet thumping as the same time of her heart beat.

Red.

Lotta red, red everywhere; red pooling in her mentor's mouth, red in her mothers hands and tear-stained face, red splatters that are her friends, her new friends fingerprints on her dress when he let go, cyan sea turning an incredible molten maroon and kings of the sea flocking, mouth open and _s_ _wallowing_ but there are no screams, magma sizzling on the waters, red itself along with the fire, a blend of blood and light and dawn and yet so

so incredibly dangerous and maybe, sometimes it's warm but fire can be hot, hotter then that warmth and it _burns._

Burning so bad, human stench in her nose, tears dribbling and yet eyes on the blue reflecting her face, guiding her, a soft blue of

of death

Death because it is this same blue that is the opposite of the hot, it is the cold and cool and slick and lying and guiding and freezing

really, really, really freezing and the cold that wraps around her when she leaves embraces, when words have been said and here is a statue of a great man and when the nights are lonely both home and not and even now, her not drawing to the flame because she is no moth

but she is Robin.

She is Robin who is half cold and half hot and never warm and alone anyway, flame mere embers here but strong men's shouts in her ears and round of bullets her heart and red her hands and blue her eyes and cold her back, burning her front.


End file.
